But I can help. You see, I've been conducting cutting-edge, ground-breaking, in-depth analysis on this issue - dropping bombshells and all kinds of bad reportage clichés.
|Return to nature.|
Bless them - they appear to be perpetual first-timers. And we're all rubbish our first time, right?
So I spent a week - that's right an entire week - with no Octonauts. Not even that fake-pirate one, Kwazii.
My field research indicates that when not wholly occupied with beating up Neanderthals and making mastadon casserole, BI Woman and BI Child partook in the following activities:
- Wandering aimlessly.
- Collecting leaves.
- Discovering a wonderful secret urban gardens.
- Hunting for fairies.
- Locating fairies.
- Octonauts? What octonauts?
- Returning in high spirits.
- Drifting into a contented sleep.
- Waking up with the evil plague.
- Realizing that the entire family has woken up with the evil plague.
- Reverting to denial.
|Back in from the cold.|
I'm pleased to report that service is back up. And the evil plague has passed. The memory of our primitive cousins is fading.
In sum, life BI was a bit rubbish, but pretty awesome when it worked. Kind of like now.
I have nothing so kind to say about my research sponsors.